storiies

2009-07-19T02:49:00.000-07:00

hi readers!

i apologize coz in nvr update for very long. no particular reason. sometime busy and sometimes lazy.

hah. life has been quite fine for me. love most of it. though something i must say. i hate my dad.
i don't even think he is fit to be called dad. i made it clear to my mum i will not take care of him. for things he has never done and things he has done. i just hate him so very much. trust me. it ain't any minor matter. its some really considerably big issues. showing the finger right to his face is something just to nice for him.

i hear another shit about him i swear i will put a padlock on the gate.

urghh.

btw i feel quite happy with my progress academically. though maths is still poor. but i already am getting help for it. it kinda works. enough said. we just have to see the outcome..

my days are quite busy so i try my very best to incorporate exercise whenever i have time.

so i feel quite satisfied.

i am so deifinitely going to catch the harry potter movie. i dun care how khairi critisised the film. like whatever.

ok lar bye.

just like sand in the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.

see ya when i see ya.

2009-06-19T01:18:00.000-07:00

NO LONGER ORDINARY AIR CADETS,
WE ARE AIR SPECIALIST!

hey all ! back from spec!

the course was very enriching i must say.
stressful but nonetheless the best course i attended so far.
and the most memorable for me was the friends that i made.
first and foremost the best dude ever, IRFAN then HYRZA,DARYL and a few more i cannot remember.oops?

haha.

the trip to IGTS was very gerek to the max.

although the test were stressful the friends i made will be never ever forgotten.
our bond is stronger than super glue. haha.
i really am touched by what they said to me along the way of the course and right when i was about to open up that envelope. they had more confidence in me then i had in myself and that really touched me. i really wanted to cry and hug them if i could but i just was too cowardly to show my feelings.they really made me wish spec course was longer.
and just this morning one of them told me how much he misses me.
you know that just melts my heart... i never felt such strong presence of a really great friend in my life.

spec course is indeed a lyfe changing experience.

i miss you guys. wonder what you are doing.

hope for the best for all you specialist now.(:

2009-06-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

good day!

heyy. hows lyfe? bet you asses are enjoying ur holiday and procrastinating huh?
dun think i dont know. project and homework not done.
naughty ppls.

haha. i also havent do.
been busy with goldwing,classes and specialist course prep.

uh its all sucking the lyfe outta me.
no lyfe liddat.
ok still amidst packing my bag for spec
still need to buy pad lock and uniform cover tmr.

so wednesday comeback from class dhen i prepare my training aid and studied for mutuals. i think i did a good job(for a guy) so i will ask amirah to help me do the finishing touches tomorrow.

gonna be gone for 4 days. ohh. gonna miss my room alot.
ok lets wrap up this post with a nice story.

lotsa things happened. for instance, this "person" who is such an assholyshit that he dhe oes not even deserve to be labelled as human. bet most of you know bout it lar. how he betrayed his friends. not just this once.

he just refuses to admit it even when i slapped the facts ryte in his face. he just let his other friend shoulder the blame. he did the mistake too and thus causing his friend to do the same thing. note that he allowed his friend to do it. few of us know. he does it too. but when things happened he push all the blame to his friend. seriously that is the most despicable thing he has done. even i am flabbergasted. its just wrong.

i hated him. and the other two of us who were in the same click hated him.
he knew it.
he made friends with this particular person.
this particular person defended him and stood by his side all the tyme.
but now this particular person knows what kind of an asshole this "person" is.
trust me. even i was disgusted by his actions.
not only did he refused to confess but he made thing look uglier for the particular person.
ppl say i judge him and its not fair.
but i read the book repeatedly and it still sucks.
the title of the book you say? assholyshit
this is just one chapter. there are many others.

i dun really wanna say more coz i just get angrier when i think bout it.
even when that particular person aint so close to me, i feel as an onlooker that he should not just sit still. this is the right time to retaliate. this is the time for revenge man. its just the beginning for that bastard.

so thats about it. for now.
gonna go out later.
see ya ard!

2009-05-29T00:06:00.000-07:00

hi guys.

i have been disconnected from the cyberworld for quite long eh?

coz it was exams and all that.

been very busy and tired lately.

exams were ok. i did better than expected in some and worst in maths.

i passed chemistry! cool ryte?

i studied like shit for social studies and never get an A.

english oso paper tough. alot failed ryte?
i passed lar but not that good. only one person A2.

physics was ok lar.

malay i did better than expected but i think i could have done better. sseriously. my karangan was like good but some errors here and there. and its like stupid mistakes.

oh and F&N i got a freaking A1. topped my class. but still not satisfied. i was looking for marks u noe? and i got some. then i found a few more and mdm kuang dun wanna give the marks reason being i already got A1 and top. wth? i want my marks.

oh ya and english i could have gotten more marks. i spotted some marking error for my letter. the format is yours sincerely if you know the recipient and yours faithfully if u dont know the recipient. but the god damn marker circled my yours faithfully and put a cross there. god damn her. there was no identification of a recipient so its your faithfully damn shit. ergh. dhen she tick on khairi's paper yours sincerely as correct when there was also no recipient.did she get her degree in teaching english? my eng teacher ask her about it and she said she never minus marks for it. the why the fuck she put an X there? logical? think about it.

erghhh.

ohh n ppl hu failed 4 subjects or more had to meet hod vp or p. lucky i save.

so had sec 3 camp. not great but definitely made lotsa friends. they rock.oh and i keep on disturbing my coach and group 8 coach. got others oso ah.

in dhe end. my voice all gone. lol

ok lar bye.

later i got PTC. hasta la vista

2009-04-04T02:23:00.000-07:00

What hurts the mostIs being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

hi inhabitants of earth.

yeah i know. my blog is so dying.

but i am trying my best to revive it as much as i can.

this week has been a not-so-bad-week. its just that the days are getting so stretchy.

teachers are getting really cranky. what is up with that. there are projects to do. homework.

and i know most of you realise this. the god damn teachers that teach a subject thinks that that is THE only subject in our whole life. for goodness sake.there are other subjects to think about. to think you have teaching as a profession when your I.Q and E.Q .are as good as rats ass.

wake up ! our life are depressing enough with all this crap ass shit you all give us and you make your lessons, the tyme we have to stare at ur faces, even more unbearable when you guys comment about us. and i know some people may offend u but why the heck are you venting your frustration and making the whole class feel bad.

we know it ourselves that exams are coming. no need for ur countless reminders and words that throw us back. why? and is it our fault that your teaching is slow, that the laptops or yours dun work or that you miss lessons with us due to reasons beyond our bloody control.

ok change topic.
on thursday went for trainfire . this time it was different. we used the Singapore Assault Rifle 21(SAR21)it was pretty cool and fun. love the contours of the rifle. like a wife. hehe.

then the next day which was friday was x-country.
i was supposed to wake up in the morning to meet the peeps at mac at 6 and i set my alarm to 4.30. but guess what? i woke up at six. i quickly bath and change and stuffs(: by then it was 6.20. i must be at school by 6.30 so i take cab to school. more ka-ching going to waste for school purposes. the whole thing was energy consuming but i definitely had fun with,hanafi,danish,khairi,ihsan,haikal and i cant remember hu else. we even made our own entertainment coz we were freaking bored.
haha. damn gerek!

den i go solat jumaat. den aliff follow me back home. i bath and changed and we met up with the others to watch the unborn. It is a SUPERB SHOW. highly recommended by moi and friends. go watch it. its a mixture of sadness,horror and thrill. great combo. after that we go walk2 somemore and den went to jurong point because of some crazy people. (: haha.

den today i rot at home.suppose to go to hanafi bdae party which i have no clue what happened to it.

well , see you all soon.

2009-03-28T01:29:00.000-07:00

hello!

erm..ok let's see. k on monday aft school had fsd training. was tiring coz we go back late.
need to do homework oso..
den tuesday fsd again. ah dying.need to do homework get things done for aero.not enough SLEEP!
then wednesday go HQ for part a hands on aeromodelling. so damn hot and burning. then plane keep on got problem. we also got problem. den also sudd rain then cannot fly. half of them nvr get to fly. sad ryte?

haha

then thursday go hq again. for fsd training. walau, by then i was happy i was still alive. my teachers giving lots of homework. then need to study. then also need to pack my bag and all the usual stuff. my teachers like piss that we always leave to go hq when exams are drawing close.what to do ryte?
then friday after solat jumaat. i just cracked. lucky no ncc training
at home resting.

then today got fsd comp.

ok dats it

2009-03-22T00:54:00.000-07:00

hey world!

my blog is like so dead boring..

thats why i am updating it now. DUH?

erm so camp was alright. first timers running camp so can't wait for the second one.

alot of casualties huh?
alamak ppl eat first lar before coming to camp. unless you are like me...got extra fuel to burn. i never eat before ncc trainings or pds or whatsoever.. surprising seyh.

erm that had alot of lessons. which means alot of homework. and guess what? my math teacher freakingly call home and said my file is not in. whatthefreak? i handed it in and my friends saw it too? so please teachers if you want to call home get you facts right ferst. you know how much unhappiness you caused? urghhhhhh!!!! URGGHHHHH! whatever if you say i did not hand in. its not my fault you let open on the chair for people to borrow and use as examples and they don't return it. MY PROBLEM AH?

crappy.

urghh

then thursday had physics remedial.okay lah not bad...den right after class my teacher spoke to a small group of us to discuss bout the class bbq. our welfare monitor did such a bad job. in the end she plan the thing there and then and we executed the plan. she is lucky she has us in her class. we marinated the chicken. and stuffs like that and others disseminated info to the rest of the class. i bought the thing. gosh i was tired and i still rushed to get things done. and some ppl were acting pro and commenting on my fire when their fire we so f ing lousy. ryte? haha. lol.the ppl there know what happened. lazy to elaborate.

okay thats all i am willing to talk about.

bye.

signing off ,

iqbal

2009-03-14T04:07:00.000-07:00

OMG HEY ALL YOU PPL CAN'T YOU SEE CAN'T YOU SEE.

haha. crap.

so sorry fr not updating my blog.
busy with schoolwork.
fsd
camp planning and stuffs like that.

i swear i have never been so busy and stress in my entire life.

i have not been home early just to complete all this things.

miss my family seyhh.

i never get to go out with them because i had to finish up the camp planning things.

not a single day i came back early this week.

even my weekend was burn.

but that is just past and parcel of life.

PPLUNITY FREESTYLE DRILL CAME IN 2ND PLACING FOR THE INTER AIR DISTRICT COMPETITION.

......HOOOORRRAYY

ALL OUR HARDWORK PAID OFF GUYS.

woohhoooo.

good job.

haha.

ok camp next week
got lessons also
erghhh

clash.

pray for it to be a success.

signing off

2009-03-01T03:22:00.000-08:00

hello people.

crazy week huh? it was so jam-pack. kinda sucky though.

monday was crap felt sick. whole day was boring.

tuesday skipped school. fell ill. really high fever and had some virul infection in my lungs. crap!
missed FSD too. was really sad about that.

next day come back to school even though i got 2 days mc. stupid ryte? was sucha torturous day.
i went to school coz i want to go fsd training. i scared i might miss out. it was suffering all the way for me. my mother actually stand in front of the door in the morning to make sure i nvr bring my ncc uniform . wth. ? but i still went for it. learnt formation. my knee has this really huge bump coz of the impact of the salutes.

thursday is abit blury. i remember i made a fat free cake in F&N which were eaten by irritating ppl. oooopppppsssssss.

then friday had ncc training. was heartfelt and emotional. was so deep.

then yesterday rot and home.

today go KBOX and studied for test.

thats all folks.

love you!

wait... i know my blog looks boring. i will try to improve on it. ok?

2009-02-21T04:04:00.000-08:00

hi people!

don't know much bout you guys but this week was to me a roller coaster ride i could not get off.

i mean like i had test.lessons . it classes. ncc. and all the homework in the world.(figuritive)

and my life pretty much pathetic. my objective. to get things done one at a time and not give up and crash and burn. very stressed.

chemistry test which i have no eye deer wat the outcome would be. maths which i am such a loser in. and other test which i forgot.

and i realise how much i am drowning myself.

i dun even spend time with my family.

in the march holidaes they going overseas and i am stuck in singapore because i have lots of comittments. crap ryte?

enough of the complaining mr iqbal!

lets get on with it
.

i like friday alot coz ncc training damn fun. and i REALLY love my part A juniors. they are so cute. just hope that none of them will quit when the going gets tough. i hope they will endure like what we all did. if we gave up halfway like what some of my ex part mates did ,we would have regretted it. word of advice nvr lose hope.here i am giving advice when my life is in a turbulence.

get a grip dude!

hehe. btw i found out nurunnuwarrah is in SAF MDC too. cool seyy.

i like her voice larh. damn good.

random!

ehe.

after training went to mac with khairi ,sarah ami and aisyah. oh wait ...azfar oso. hehe.

the bus home with azfar and aisyah.

got pervert in bus!!!!

haha.
so we made sure aisyah went down the bus without that guy following.

then i went home...

feeling really sick.

and i miss 4 ppl really badly.

oh so sad....

hanafi say if he come back and he is possessed, he ask go get bomoh. i tell him if he gets possessed i would call the INSTITUTE OF MENTAL HEALTH.

hee.

thats all.

penat lar nak sambung....

nyte nyte.

2009-02-15T02:02:00.000-08:00

HAPPY TDD!

Haha.! hey all.

today was great.

in the morning at about 7.30 met up with hanafi,aisyah,azfar hadi and nora. then take train and met shafiq at gombak. than we headed off to city hall. we reach there and saw fazillah and natasha. we go out of the station and then they realise they must wait for ms k. so since shafiq and i needed to go first coz we rep unity ncc and must register first . then reach there we met that zheng hua girl. forgot her name ah but very adorable. i keep on forgetting these ppl name but they remember mine.not bragging but just saying i really cannot remember their names.
they will go hey iqbal! or hi iqbal and i would say hi and look at their nametag.

then we waited for dunnoe how long then the service started. quite ok lar.
after we were dismissed i quickly rush to meet the rest. took some photos and headed to suntec city. we walk really slow. took pictures along the way.then we go to the total defence booth and wrote some stuff. then we go and eat burger king where i change back to civilian clothing. wearing the uniform is leceh if we want to go jalan jalan. then after that we headed back to the booth and got the really cool performance. abit gay lar. then they say that it was the SAF music and dance company hanafi and i were really shocked. coz they are REALLY good. also HOT and SEXY. hard to imagine they have high rank and all that. haha. i was really in love with that.

also we did this photo thing which was free and also we wrote on this big paper. and they print the photo out for us. which was really cool.then we go jalan jalan and then headed to esplanade where we had more fun!

we walked there and jathish was talking to some random philipino or indonesian maid. which was damn HILARIOUS.
haha!

tthen we took the lift which was so useless. then we went to the roof. we take picture where i suggested that we all shout but only 2 or 3 shouted.i nvr shout. then all hide. then talk talk and aisyah say the security not there anymore. so i knew that they were coming up. and they did but everyone was nowhere to be found. i talk to the guard and he say some words and left. ass hole sia. everyone all runaway. then we take more photos and lepak awhile and we all headed back.
but aisyah and ryan went missing and they went back by the other way. then the rest of us went to lot 1 and then went home.

very fun day sia today.

escpecially when that dude is not around. fun siol.!!

oh and tomorrow got tdd parade and food ration.

i finished all homework except my chemistry.

thanks aisyah,hanafi,hadi,nora ,azfar,fazillah and nutt for sucha enjoyable day. looking forward to going out with you all again.

maybe to a movie?

ok see you all soon! love evryone of you so much. i would bite you! haha.

2009-02-14T01:01:00.000-08:00

apa khabar ibu dan bapak?

hello ppl!

it has been a tiring week man.

k lets get the ball rolling.

on monday: school as per normal. had things after school then i think i went home.

on tuesday: had NE meeting. voted for president and vice president which turned out to be fazillah and nutt. kudos to you gerls!

on wednesday: the indonesian immersion students from east kalimantan tarakan negeri 1 came.
i escape maths remedial to hang out with them. hanafi and radiance buddy. fakhrul and the cute wawan. haha. went back and studied for maths test.

on thursday: had maths test and the rest of the day was horrid. then hang out with wawan. i belanja him nasi goreng and ayam and i buy for him his drink oso. he damn cute lar. friendly but shy oso. like brother my brother seh. oh he likes ray. and he learnt to say wo ai ni.

on friday: did not hang with wawan for long. then when they were going home , wawan hug radiance and said i love you. adorable giler. then i teased him. haha. then i went to friday prayers with shafiq,haris and hanafi. they come to my house and never lepak. wth. then had freestyle drill training. its an american style but improvised version. damn confusing but i guess its still new to us. competition is in march. there goes my holiday. i have the competition. ncc camp. ncc aeromodelling camp. ccac leadership course. classes and many more crap lar.

then today: had ccac meeting and after that suppose to meet syifa and hazimah and mac but they postponed it to 1 o'clock. then i cannot go coz got prayers at my aunt's crib. my sedara all attack me while i was relaxing in my aunt's guest room. they were on top of me tickling me everywhere. even my sister and mother were in cahoots. i was wailing and laughing and begging for them to get off of me. but they were enjoying it. my kakak and abang sedara all giler giler seh.sadist bunch.
then tomorrow got the war memorial shyt. must wear my uniform then gonna change. my mum and sis are going to the zoo with my kakak sedara and aunt. i wanna go zoo... uekkk!! i wanna see the orang utans, the snake and all the other creatures that inhabits that place.

ok folks thats it for tonight.

to end on a sweet note: happy valentine's day to you. you are special to me. sweeter than all the candy in the candy empire. you mean alot to me. smile more from now on ok? who are you celebrating this special day with? whoever it is ur with, enjoy.

2009-02-06T19:48:00.000-08:00

hey ppl

sorry for not posting for very longg.

actually i did try to post but some shit happened while i was blogging so. paham.

k this week has been crappy stressful. you name it. its just so negative. the only time i dun feel stress is during malay lesson.

everyday just feels intense and pressurising to me.

on one occassion after pe lesson we played handball rugby. pretty fun.
but at the last bit i strained my hand. then i realise i left something with mr azman.
iwent back to take it but i was late coz my hand fucking pain. then ms fizah thought i purposely come back late and ask me to stand with the chinese boys who purposely come late lar.

ass ryt? then my ncc teacher officer walk past. wah ass man...ruin my reputation for NOTHING!

so suckish

felt so useless the whole week.

had training. pretty tough coz no one to assist me. and got some bullshit blunders by the admin side off attendance due to the fucking attendance file. fucking cock!

damn difficult to check strength.basket.
but other than that matter everything else went smoothly. with the help of the part Cs Ds and D1s. thanks to all.

and we were promoted to corporals. but no silver wing.

oh and mr tan chose my and shafiq to represent unity ncc for the war memorial. when in fact i was already gonna go with ms khamilia with the unea. so now i gotta wear no.3 and represent both groups. ok lar. not that tough. i think.

some drama went on at mac. hope all is ok.

thats all folks.

2009-01-25T00:58:00.000-08:00

greetings to you readers.

friday. had english test. funny things happened. lol

then had cny celebrations. abandoned my class to sit with 2/6 08 ppl.

the show was ok. but the jokes we made about it were even better.

laughed till my throat hurt.

then go solat jumaat.

and then go watch inkheart at causeway.

was nice lar.

then homed.

then yesterday went to a solemnization ceremony at the mosque.

was my mother's friend daughter.

then sharukh and farah were there. at first we were all shy to talk but after a while we talk non-stop. we malu-malu anjing because dah lamer tk jumper. the last time we met was when we all go batam together-gether. and when sharukh became like my brother and his brothers were like jealous and stuff.

farah got into triple science. urgh. not jealous. haha sharukh was laterally transferred into express. good for these people. btw the both of them don't believe i can raise my voice. i know!
that is the first time i heard it too. they think that i very the relaxed ,composed and laidback kinda guy. boy they got me all wrong.

and today i went to causeway again. and i made the yummylicious mushroom cream soup.

i am really bored.

i really miss you.

its not the same anymore . you are there but its like ur not. hmpph.feel like going to airport and eat at popeye and walk walk with special people.
u got someone in ur lyfe.
and me?
all i do is talk to myself.
its all gone isn't it.
u wiped out that bit of memory.
u can but i can't.
and you have 2.
and again,i talk to myself.
i dun get it.

i shall do homework. or shan't i.

2009-01-22T04:19:00.000-08:00

omg. so long i never update.

so-the-very-the-sorry.

i miss blogging so much.

but just too shacked these days.

i cannot stop thinking of the little kid from the orphanage.

miss him so very much.

we pretty much connected.

when i was with him , the feeling of not wanting to let him go kept playing in my mind.

really sad lar.

the kids thinks his father will take him home.

i swear i will look for the adik again.

sayang sangat ngan dier.

ok had a few test and tomorrow eng test.

i really dun understand the feeling i am feeling

i just hate what i am going through.

the uncertainty.

the angst.

the doubt.

the sadness.

this turmoil . it just sucks.

when can i be the cheery and just happy me again?
i miss myself alot.

cant have any alone tyme these days.

ohh and sec1 are so lovely and innocent.

their innocence wont last long.

hahs.

btw ppl sucks.

u ppl hu did that sucks.

and i love you.

yes you! buhbye

2009-01-11T03:45:00.000-08:00

hi ppl.

tired seyyh.

i will update on yesterday wedding dinner and today. ok? y i ask u seyy.

ok wedding dinner was fun. i help to usher guest to tables.

nothing much to update bout yesterday.more on today.

ok so woke up early and was told to help aunty norjan to carry things from her house to comm centre. i also help kak ira buy macdonalds. see pengantin eat mac in morning. hahaha.

den i tukar to my punjabi baju. all the sedara lelaki wear that.

then i and didi made the last trip down to the cc. i tell him that he confirm never sleep properly and he looked like weird. i was damn right.something happened later on.

then at about 10.30 all the darul ma'wa kids arrived.(orphans) together with the old folks ppl.

we were really sad coz we were reminded of nani and atok. i really tried to hold back my tears because i was with the kids. i alone handle the kids and my aunts with the old folks.

i talk talk with them and i just loved this small kid. so pitiful. so young and innocent. but has no parents. he was struggling to eat. so i feed him lar. btw his name is khairy. but he primary 2 but very short. i peel the prawns and chicken and all that.but i dun want the others to feel neglected so i talk with them. and khairy really loved the kek. for a small guy eating 3 huge slices of cake. then i wash his hand for him and wipe his mouth. i treated him as thought he were my brother. if u guys were there u probably wud do the same. i really love these kids man. next month i am going to darul ma'wa with my mother to see khairy again. so after taking pictures and talking to them i go with them to wait for their bus. luckily the bus took a long tyme. so i play with them somemore. i ask him whether want to follow me home but he say dun wan. he still thinks his parents will come back for him. i was just so heartbroken seyhh. then their bus come and if you see how appreciative they were and how they wave goodbye. its just so sweet. it can make a stone melt. so sad seyy.

so after that the pengantin lelaki come den we all block them until they give us money. hehe. i got money. but then didi suddenly beside me got fits. (its a temporary seizure.the body shakes vigourously and the person will black out for some time.) then all the shitty ass sedara mara all kpo like cibai. all block step mcm paham. bastard. they must let him breath. i know coz he got fits infront of me 2 time before but the last one was when i was in primary school. so only some of us were around him. only those who knew what to do .which included me lor. earlier on i ask him whether he ate his medication coz i know he never sleep well.

then the rest is bla and bla. i still have not do chem homework coz i got no clue how to do.

bye ppl.

sayonara.

2009-01-09T16:29:00.000-08:00

school is crap.

i had CE lesson and the teacher asked us what we did wrong in 2008 and how we gonna improve on it in 2009?

there is just too many mistakes in my life. not sure if i can forgive my self. i was already so depressed by that question and she talked about grandparents. making me feel alot more awful. i really really really miss my atok and nani.they did so much for me and whenever i have to go there i would complain. now if i could turnback tyme and re do all this shit.i have lost too many beautiful people that completed my lyfe. people i will probably never get back.

so yesterday was cca open house. memories, both bitter & sweet memories came back when someone talk to me. but truthfully it wasn't her that i wanted to talk to. i was so nervous before the performance. i almost vomitted. hakim saw my face like ass liddat.

the performance was great ah. with the support given by our instrutors, seniors,part mates and friends.appreciated evryone support.while performing i set my eyes not to look at ppl. but i saw just this one person and i was so nervous again.

i will not elaborate wat happens next. read other ppl blog ok?

because after that i rushed my ass back home coz my sedara nak nikah. i bath quickly. change and went to teck whye. near the cc. then after one hour we go to the mosque. seeing my sedara nikah was a fun feeling as the masjid was big and we actually get to see it not like other times.

thats about it.
today got her wedding dinner.
so bye!

2009-01-04T01:47:00.000-08:00

HELLO! I LOVE YOU ALL!

hehe. giler sikit.

ok so first day of school. lets elaborate.

before that. i was wondering what schoolbag i wanted to use. i got this really fucking cool billabong commander pack. nice colour too! was wondering if i should use it. but i use my older bag first cause got alot of things to bring and my bag would be to heavy. not that my bag not strong but there is such thing as wear and tear. so wait until teachers collect their book and files and i know exactly what books to bring.

like ryte now i dun even know weda i haf to bring my A Maths book on which week. or whether we are now having ss or history first. so i bring both. so my bag really heavy.i oso dunnoe when to start using my new spectacle.

so in da mornin met up with some peeps at ut mrt. i entertained falah's brother. trying to convince him to join NCC. hehe. jahat seyy aku.

took me and khairi a good 15 mins to find my class. coz it was not where it supposed to be. ass shit!

got some shit ppl in my class. urgh

i got mdm li and mdm kuang as form teachers.

they say for now must sit in register no.
hate it.

urghh. i wanna sit with my friends lar. shit man.

i got some ok teachers for now.

i really hope my malay teacher is cikgu nora.

really really hope.

oh and i made friends with linda.

after school got solat.

then go for PDS. it was ok. atleast better than school.

well thats it.

adios amigos!

2008-12-29T16:36:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. okay hi.

so first things first. school is opening real soon. i am just unsure whether i am happy or just plained fucked up about it. hees.

the new bunch of sec 1 are coming in. hope they enjoy the orientation put up for them by the sec-2s-to-be ccac.

so this friday gonna be a lil bit sucky having to wake up damn early.

atleast there are people like azfar,falah,nurrid,hadi and khairi in my class.

i swear if i could do anything to get 2/6 back then that would be swell.

ok had pds training yesterday. i found it abit dull probably cause i was sick but i stupidly still came. i manage to do some pull ups with the cdo and khairi and aliff and alvin and faris.

now my back and shoulder hurt to the max.

so today i might be going to get a haircut.

next week is the cca openhouse.which is gonna be tiring.

then on that same day i have to attend my cousin nikah at the masjid.

then on saturday night attend her wedding dinner. i bought so manyh expensive stuff coz of that.
my baju it self is already $100 plus.

then on sunday bersanding at choa chu kang cc. i told haziq to come since he live very nearby.

so if i nvr come to school on the following monday you know why la..

ok dats all folks.

2008-12-22T15:53:00.000-08:00

sorry never update for very long.

got pds training mah. if dun have pds training it will be either i am to tired or i am doing something else.

ok so last week had pds training and sec 1 registration. pds was gerek to the max.(fun to the max)

heheh. then sec 1 registration was okay lor. did the ushering of cars and people who were on foot.
quite fun. i remember when i was register-ing? i was welcomed by warm smile all around. so i did the same making the sec1-to-be feel welcome. there are alot of short and adorable sec1 this year. seriously adorable. haha. short and cute.

saw falah and her bro and her dad.

oh forgot to mention, i did the gate duty with izyan,hazimah,cheng xian and kuan ying.

funny sot. we were really bored at some point so we entertained ourselves. had a nice chat with them man. good people.

as the parents were coming in some of them saluted us. then some were just super nice.
so i kept on repeating this phrase.

"hello! unity secondary? you may proceed to the foyer and student councillors will guide you"

so repeated that like a million times. there were a few stubborn parents. but oh well they are fucked up.

then got this short kid with his father asking me if he were to come one a bicycle where would he park. i show them la. then chat with his father and that kid for a while. why i am telling you this is the kid was really cute. lol

wow and yeah school is starting damn soon. holidays are gone. shit.

2008-12-02T16:53:00.000-08:00

so yesterday was unfortunate yet fortunate.i will explain what i mean.

in the morning went for pds until about 1 plus and took cab to go to east coast for class outing . they went there at ten so i really did not want to miss out on the fun and i really miss some ppl.i was actually supposed to share money with khairi to take cab but he was already there due to some reasons. so i had to pay the whole sum on my own. but the taxi driver was really nice.
oh did i mention i was really excited about the outing that i came in my uniform and change there. i really love 2/6 man. but some of them more than the others. hehe. but i still love what..((:

ok so after changing i rent-ed a bike. and we cycle and cycle until east coast lagoon to eat. poor hanafi, he ordered nasi goreng seafood and got some disgusting tasting noodle. he was too afraid to tell the stall owner. food was great for me and the drinks were also awesome.

so we cycle back for amazing race. i had to admit i was lazy to play coz i was already tired from the pds training and they can't possibly expect me to run but which i did. in the end pravin khairi hanafi and me fed up already then we go swimming. it was raining cat,dogs,rats.roaches and whatever.

ok so then we went to the shelter cause lightning was really up close . alot of ppl came to our shelter. but there were these particular trio that were from philipines that made friends with hanafi and pravin. u will see how they play a big role.

so then azfar,khairi and me took a long romantic ? walk along the beach and sat by those large rock thinggy and khairi suddenly stood up and pee-ed? like gross butr nvm that. actually the romantic walk was azfar and khairi. i was walking alone abit at the back and singing. no wonder rain heavily.really nice. (if its true don't leave me all alone out here,wondering if ur ever gonna take me there tell what ur feeling coz i need to know gerl u gotta let me know which way to go)

then we walk back and played beach volleyball. i was being all over obsessed with the game. haha. sorry peeps.i did not know i played that well. seriously i did not know.azfar and aisyah were having the time of their lifes together by the beach side and azfar trying to be sexy and tempt aisyah. wonder if she fell for it? lol . cute ryte?

then we all decided to bath . bathing was fun. haha. ???? after bathing ,we wanted to return our bikes. then gervina lost her wallet. i thought she misplaced it or something so we all go return our bike. then after that they all came over near burger king looking for those trio philipino asses. they actually stole a few valuable from our bags. hanafi DS was one of it.they were pretending to be nice and they stole stuffs.

meanwhile they called the cops

khairi and i were fucking fed up so we took other ppls bikes and tell the bicycle uncle to let us use the bikes.so we split up to look for them. after a while shaikah joined me. and we still cannot find them. then according to the description i gave to khairi, he spotted a trio. so immediately shaikah and me cycle all the way to eastcoast lagoon.i almost wanted to stop already but because of hanafi getting so upset i continued even though my leg muscle wanted to explode. so after the long painful ride. shaikah and me could hardly stand. than khairi directed us to the suspect.

i said it was not them. because of the hair colour change.it was blonde but now blacked so i was confused. soon after the kind natasha, pui hian and pravin came over in a cab to cycle back our bikes knowing we were exhausted. so kind ryte?

so shaikah , me and pui hian kept watch of the suspects. as they were about to leave the police came. before that i was afraid of talking to the police and the gerls were like whatever. then police come they scared already. so they confronted the suspect and brought them to their vehicle to interrogate. did i mention the women was "drunk" . she was screaming shouting and could not walk properly and she was puking all the way. gross ryte?oh the trio is two men and one women. i was not confirmed whether its them cause the hair colour diffrent. the police told us that they cannot do anything because the things are not in their bags. they probably pass it to some one or hid it somewhere.

so shaikah pui hian and me hitch a ride from this nice couple who send us all the way back to the burger king area.when i reach there, then information was given to me by venus that she saw their hair colour change before they left because it was temporary hair spray i suppose. and the description venus gave of the last she saw them fits what i saw at eastcoast lagoon. the long hair guy with hairbandd and black tee with a skeleton like face with beady eyes. short hair guy in white tee and the women in a white dress. fcuk! if i had known than the police could have done something. i am not blaming anyone because everyone was not able to focus. such big things happening and the police involved and all.we look around the spot where they sat and we found an empty cigarette pack and a cup of vodka. the vodka was left there but the cigarette pack was taken by gervina as that thing probably had their fingerprint to be given to forensics for investigation today. sorry gervina and hanafi i cannot follow go to make the official police report today cause i am going to the airport.

so that was all we could do. some wanted to eat at macdonalds so we did. then azfar ,hanafi, aisyah and me took cab home. azfar thank ur parents for me.

so ppl who were there actually stayed there until 9 -10 pm. because they cared about each other. the hate that i had for ppl were gone. now i love 2/6 even more. and i love you even more.

i will miss you ppl.

u better miss me also.

sorry for any typos.

2008-11-30T00:45:00.000-08:00

to that asshole hu said my blog is stupid, pls have the bloody guts to put ur name down.
freak. u dare to say it so better put ur name u coward!

btw. had aeromodelling camp recently.
i missed the first day because of pds.
so i went on the second day but did not sleep over even when alan and the otheres were forcing me.
i had no choice. i could not stay.
so during the camp i met syazwan. this short but cute guy. he is into acting.
u culd say he is like jathish but a much better version. much much better.
he is cute. seriously. not in the weird way but he is like a little child. but he my age. haha.
and i found out they had only 2 theory components. freaking easy. compared to what my batch of instructors did. but still sad to say some still failed.
ok so currently looking for a floor mat for my room, a floor pillow or bean bag. any idea where to get them? no ikea and courts dun have.
i am thinking of painting my room but need to find the right day.
thinking of these colours, green ,grey,blue and purple.
tell me ppl.

i just cannot get you out of my mind.
since that day i last saw u,
u have been in my mind.
ur sweet smile.
if only i hadn't met u.
i wud not be loving u so bad ryte now.
till the time we meet.

2008-11-27T16:29:00.000-08:00

hey ppl. sorry i very long never update. and i said i was gonna change my url and all but really too busy. i had camps pds aeromodelling and all. so i try to find time to do it. since the lame ATYQAH(: wun help me i gotta figure it out myself.

THOSE NCC PART A OR PART B WHO ARE STILL INTERESTED IN JOINING PDS, JUST TO LET YOU KNOW YOU CAN STILL TRY OUT FOR IT. JUST BRING ALONG YOUR LETTER TO THE NEXT PDS TRAINING. FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE TRAINING , YOU CAN CONTACT THOSE WHO ARE CURRENTLY IN PDS AND ASK THEM TO INFORM YOU OF WHEN THE TRAININGS WILL BE, WHAT TO BRING , WHAT ATTIRE AND ETC.

that's all folks!

2008-11-14T04:02:00.000-08:00

hello ppl!

ok i just found out my cousin knows my blog. thats ryte nifail i am doing it.!!!

he found out about this blog from a crazy fuckin' bitch he calls a friend that is from unity.
hah.
so i gonna change the url so enjoy reading this for the last time niffy.hah i am doing it!

ok so far my life is pretty balanced. sucky on some parts and fun on others. so we planned out class outing. gonna be on 25th. dats what we decided for now. place is probably sentosa.

oh andd i got some of my grandfathers singlet that he has not used yet. and some of his baju kurung and his kain pelekat? haha. he uses a specific brand that is kinda rare that my aunt and me knows what. haha.

ok i am just so loving pds. whatever that may happen to me.
and ccac camp coming. have not packed yet!!! omfg!

ok tomorrow got aero. i think i should go.
then got some family day shit. hah.
tomorrow have to wake up damn early.
see you.
and nifail. enjoy it while it last. i will keep the others informed on my new link. see ya

2008-11-06T02:12:00.000-08:00

i won't be posting for some time coz my granddaddy just left us.

allahyarham hj Ahmed Bin Yusof telah kembali ke rahmatullah pada 4 hb november pada 10.40.malam.
semoga dia digolongkan dengan orang yang soleh dan ditemukan dengan nani.

i love you atok but i know you miss nani so i am glad that your suffering ended.i told myself to be happy for you but i am just so selfish coz i miss you and nani too much.i am happy i was there went you breathed your last breath. i saw your heartrate going down to 51 then to 30 then to 21 and there was no more reading.i witnessed your departure and i saw you did not suffer. you were very ill before but you fought to survive because of nani so now you can leave and meet her.i took care of you several days and night without proper sleep at the hospital. i truly do not regret it. i feel as though i have not done enough. and i truly love you and nani.visit me in my dreams if its not too much to ask. bye.

2008-11-03T21:37:00.000-08:00

the song that is playing is a french song. it has no lyrics to it.
it just a boy and a girl singing to it with their voices.
its just so super nice. and romantic.
it might sound very high here but to enjoy a better quality click this.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tHMTHYRVbs

maybe you might find meaning to it. well i know i did.
the way to enjoy it is with an open mind! ((:

2008-10-31T00:51:00.000-07:00

I hear the ticking of the clockI'm lying here the room's pitch darkI wonder where you are tonightNo answer on the telephoneAnd the night goes by so very slowOh I hope that it won't end thoughAloneTill now I always got by on my ownI never really cared until I met youAnd now it chills me to the boneHow do I get you aloneHow do I get you aloneyou don't know how long i have wantedto touch your lips and hold you tightYou don't know how long I have waitedand I was going to tell you tonightBut the secret is still my ownand my love for you is still unknown Alone

so yesterday sarah(the baby) came. she abit taller now. cuter i suppose. definitely naughtier. she sneezed on my laptop. eww.! gross.

so she didn't want to go home. she sayed she wanted to stay with me. haha. my aunty all laugh seyy. hahs.she damn cute lar.

so i told her i would fetch her from her house later. but she dont want. she want to stay den she cry. ask me carry her den dun want to let go. so i sing to her twinkle twinkle little star... just once through and she fell asleep in my arms. haha. cute. my aunty all say i can be baby sitter. because my other anak sedara all i can take care. give them their food,milk and put them to sleep.

so my activities:

tomorrow council meeting and aero meeting. clash bang!!!!

7 nov: pds

8nov:aero meeting

10nov: sana course

15nov:aero pre-prep

17-19:student leaders camp.

18 shooting competition. clash again.

22nov:aero pre-prep

27-29nov aero camp.

and in between and through out december got pds.

if my grandfather never get better then very difficult man.

somemore i want to go holiday.

and i wanna watch rihanna concert.

2008-10-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

hey bastard.

sissy stupid fucking ugly bastard

ferstly your head is full of shit coz you did not even tell me you want to help to organize.your puny fucky shitty brain seriously is betraying you gay shit!

bodoh nyer babi!

hey those ppl who talk about me ryte they got no chibai to say to my face. what idiotic asshole. that is what you should be name fucking bitch. kau pikir kau banyak nyer lawar per sial? pergi mampos lar.

and YOU you know that ppl call you faggot ish ryte? one of them happen to be my cousin ryte.

he asked me why i became friends with you. i said you are nice and it doesn't matter what ppl say as long as i know you are my friend its ok. but i swear i regret every word of it.

what's so bad about khairi? you fucking bastard. i went through my whole secondary 1 life in fear and unhappiness ok. he made me feel bad. and when i was friends with shaikah and thst whole incident tht you insulted me remember?

sad to say even hanafi was dumb enough to fall for his trap. you too remember?

not to say i nevr tried to forgive all of you ,i did forgive you guys ryte? even khairi but his mistakes were continuosly done.

you said you were helping me? come on la. you? help me? piss off la.

and it is not wrong for you to decide when you wanna go to school you asshole. did i say it was.

hey faggot, we arranged to meet ryte? i called you and you say anything la. when you sms me you say they all wanna go at 9.45. that was all you smsed . nthing mentioned that you are going with them and not me. and we were supposed to choose the combo together? remember? or that shitty brain of your push that aside?

it wasn't me forcing you to meet. i told you and you had no objections.

what an excuse. you wanted to wish happy berthday to a certain someone. reality check you can sms ok. you did not even remember when it was my berthday not denying you still got me a gift. that reminds me. i will pass yours to you on monday when we check our classes thing.

so next time i tell you to meet somewhere and then i go with some one else. pls understand la.

fuck you. and i nvr say i was a millionare but thanks anyway for saying that.moron.

oh so you have been putting up with my attitude since last year izit? as if you fucking perangai so good. fuck you!!!!! go finger your ownself laar.
and i did not mention i was an angel.
i know i am not perfect but i never betray a fren to go with another. i have a brain to inform someone of changes earlier.and to think i felt sorry for you when you are not in ccac. i play along with your behaviour. i know u nvr ask me to but i play along. hey and any idea how ppl look at me when i hang out with you. what my cousin say when he knew that the guy he is disgusted by happens to be my bestfren. i dun mind. i ignore them. i know u nvr ask me to but i still did it anyway. your attitude ain't perfect dude. cermin lar sikit

after u insult khairi you ask me what is wrong with him. what a fucking hypocrite you are? go to hell.and khairi nvr take revenge? that is because he started it you bastard. you should have known this already. what is wrong with you?he spat in my bottle and did many stuffs. what i am doin is not as bad as what he did.

ppl hate me. i know.

AS IF PPL DON'T HATE YOU????REALITY CHECK MORON!

turn down the drama!

i think i am someone who has nth to my name except frens which i am so wrong.
me spoil your mood? you bloody pig. u don't know the half of it.

and i am not like you. needing the spotlight. i dun need ppl tp praise me. and neither am i an idiot who self praise but self proclaims that i don't like self praise. geee....

so i am very irritating, many hate me, i am an eye-sore,i am worst then khairi.

hey fucker. you are sucha moron in you own world.

and as you mentioned those who said i am self centered....excuse me? this fat ass you are surpporting is worst then me. sedar tak?

sorry for ever intruding your life and sorry for ever being a part of it.
since i am a fucky fren.
you are so worst. confiding in other frens.sucha baby! gimme a break. what adek? nak complain.kat diorang. tkdr bola kepe?

urghh you

idiot

2008-10-27T18:55:00.000-07:00

since when did you and i are planning it?
did i ask for your help?
and from your post, i can tell that you wanna plan the whole thing.
you did not put we decided or we have not decided but instead you put "I" have not decided.
so since when did it become about you?
i do something at my blog you copy.
i do at class blog then you copy.
what is it that you want?
you want to organize izzit?
well too bad i did it ferst but you could like discuss with me or something.
the way you put it at the post is as if its your fucking idea.
you go and see your own post now see if its fucking rude.
i plan something and you ruin it.
you take control.
who the hell in the fucking world do you think you are.
when someone called you a faggot i defended you.
then you ask me why people call you a faggot?
have you questioned yourself? look at urself?
the way you are.
and i swear if you look at someone who behaves like you, you would say he IS a faggot.
but since i know you quite well i dun think you really are.
i wanted to meet you today to discuss but in the end you wanna go with the gerls.
so its your own actions and decisions.
who do you really think are your friends now.
hanafi & me no longer mean anything to you?
you want to be a khairi?
i try so hard to keep us together but you don't feel it right.
then you get fed-up at khairi.
you are acting like him, you know that?
you reminded me of your present but did you come today to meet us?

seriously

fuck you.

2008-10-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

GOOD TO SEE MANY OF YOU LOVE TWO SIX!!

touched,love and sadness are the words to describe what i feel.

cry all you want. if its the only way it can make you feel better.
but for me, after crying so much i still miss all of you.
all the wacky moments.

shit lar. so fast sec 3? i am in a shock. i feel as if i am still sec 1 or something coz i haven't got enough time with my class. why is this happening? stupid fucking education system!!!!

2008-10-19T02:26:00.000-07:00

hi guys!

our time with our classmates are coming to an end.

even those irritating faces ,

i have come to treasure

because they have been

and are a part of my life.

its awfully dreadful to part.

all we have left of each other

are bittersweet memories.

enough of my sad poem. haha. i did dat by myself and it doesn't rhyme but who cares? it was from the bottom of my heart.

i remembered.......(flashback)

when it was the last day of primary school, i met up with raihana for the last time we would possibly meet. she started crying. i was like consoling her telling her not to cry. but suddenly i started weeping like a baby and i ran to the toilet to control myself. i did not know why i cried that bad. after that i was walking home and suddenly, along the way, i cried again! because to me friends are my most important asset and motivation. though at times they suck blood.

so i entered unity with a mindset that i had no friends it was so scary. at times i was afraid to go to school. but soon i bonded with my classmates. and there were camps, inter-class competition,story-telling,swimming , class outings and etc. they had been part of my life without me even realising it.

i knew this day would come eventually but i did not know how painfull and heart-breaking it was. i did not know how much i actually appreciated everyone of them.

the hug one special friend gave me was really meaningful. i am so going to miss seeing their faces,hearing the voices and rushing to do homework in the morning.

on friday when bart was going to china i knew it would be the last time i would see him in class. though he is kind of arrogant but he was my classmate.

the system is just stupid. they break us up in primary school from our primary school friends and put us into secondary education. and make us bond with our new classmates. only then to tear us apart again. hey morons! there is only so much of emotional roller caoster an adolescent can take.

erghh.

its going to be tough for me.

i will miss all 2/6 peeps.

i am not sure if i am able to adapt.

loosing a girlfriend is not as heart breaking as this because a class like 2/6 its just too rare.

goodbye my friends.

2008-10-13T04:54:00.000-07:00

hello!

sorry neber update for so long.

busy ah.

moi granddaddie in hospital..

today oso never go to school.

go take care of him.

i got 14 uncles and aunties. 1 passed away in 2002 so left with 13.

got 40 cousins. so we all will take turns to jager during day or during the night.

so understand, understood and understoodeddooded.

but not all of these people take care.

some are hopeless.

some take shift but got jobs what so i finish exams so they ask me ponteng.

anyway 1 only got one grandparent left. dapat pahala tau.

well alot has been happening lately.

some i prefer not to publish in this post.

but the past few days of mine were spent in hospital.

btw if you might have known i like david archuleta. his song crush is great!

ok den take care peeps!

2008-10-02T22:57:00.001-07:00

ok a quick one!

got adik angkat.but all i have of them now are just photos and memories. sad!i will elaborate more if i have the time. ok

den exams sucks!

arghhhh.

den malam raya i was at hospital jaga my atuk all the way until next morning about ten plus then i go home. my grandfather in the same ward that my grandma was in when she passed away. same illness.
i was extremely sad when i heard the takbir raya but tahan-ed!

raya was just at home coz no one in my family celebrated. a recent death and my granddad in hospital.

berthdae was super suckish
i waited one year since last year and it went by just like that. the person who suppose to wish me didn't even wish me. ah wadeva fuckers.
continue hatin'
i was awake at the last moments of my berthdae hoping i would...

rubbish man

so the two significant days on my life went by just like that. surprised i did not cry.
fucking lousy year. then got exams. i study lar coz i care about my results.
but seriously lar i was so sad dammit my ferst raya dat was without my grandma. until now i have not felt the raya spirit. and at school people's faces just SUCK BIG TIME! unhappy faces. you chibai! i am the one hu shuld be deprived of that smile not you and yet i force myself to look happy. no mood. everything is just so negative. the aura that i am living in is the worst i have felt.

and later i gotta spend my time in hospital. probably tomorrow and the day after too. then got three suckish and boring paper.

and fast food have become a taboo for me. like what my dear friend said"i am afraid i will be fat" haha. see i always make jokes but you think i am happy? you bitches just don't appreciate your life do you? fuckers . and jalan raya? just kills my mood..

and some say i am lucky to have my bertdae after raya? just the opposite sak!

and ppl pls smile. you guys are not making life easier . i just wanna see everyone happy even though my life has been depressing. and ppl ask why i dun wanna get married. actually coz i am afraid the child will have the kind of life like mine. i dun wanna bring the child to the world and guarentee it will be happy. maybe i will just adopt. i like kids just that i dun wanna be responsible if he or she suffers. like my life. suckish. and all the FCUKING SLUTS all around. school and home. but school got alot.

2008-09-12T06:11:00.000-07:00

hello.

i hope my previous post were entertaining. for one of it ryte? got numbers rite? read only the odd numbers. its cool. read it ok.

so today went for the exhibition thing. was fun ah got alot of cute people. haha.
sorry shafiq if we irritated you. lol!

i really want to go NCC eh. ergh

then tomorrow got aeromodelling and ccac. taik sak.

everytime got so many shit. den clash
for god sake exams are coming. dammit. havent even study.
ncc comes ferst but i dun wanna look like an uncommitted ccac.
its a hard lyfe that i have to balance.
tough responsibility.

so i think i go for ccac a while and den go for aero. what to do?
my lyfe like so miserable sak.
even my berthday ryte smack in the middle of exams.
i have to study. and i am gonna start tomorrow.
except the geography part coz i lost my text book.
there is only one place i have not look for the book so far.
the maths class. but mrs selvan never come dunnoe how many days.den dat room must have a card or sumtin. den monday no maths . so only tuesday den i can find. fcuk!
if dun have i no choice but to buy new one. erghh

lyfe is so unfair to ME.
everything bad dat can happen has happened. and i dun even have a person whom i feel comfortable to confide in.
one day i will just lose it and just breakdown. i just know it.

2008-09-07T02:38:00.001-07:00

Boy:I saw her today...Girl:I saw him today...Boy:It seems like its been foreverGirl: I wonder if he still cares...Boy:She looks better than before...Girl: I couldn`t help but stareBoy:I asked her how she wasGirl: I asked him about his new girlfriendBoy: I`d choose her over any girlGirl: He`s probably happy nowBoy:I couln`t look at her without thinking i would cry.Girl: He couldn`t even look at me...Boy:I told her I missed her...Girl: He told me he missed me...Boy: I meant it...Girl: He didn`t mean it...Boy:I love herGirl: He loves her...Boy: I held herGirl: He gave me a friendly hug...Boy: Then I went home and cried...Girl: Then I went home and cried...Boy: I lost herGirl: I lost himBoy: *Sigh*Girl: *Sigh*

Moving on is simple,it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.

Romantic pictures

2008-09-07T02:24:00.000-07:00

1 "The great love that I have for you

2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you

3 grows every day. When I see you,

4 I do not even like your face;

5 the one thing that I want to do is to

6 look at other girls. I never wanted to

7 marry you. Our last conversation

8 was very boring and has not

9 made me look forward to seeing you again.

10 You think only of yourself.

11 If we were married, I know that I would find

12 life very difficult, and I would have no

13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart

14 to give, but it is not something that

15 I want to give to you. No one is more

16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not

17 able to care for me and help me.

18 I sincerely want you to understand that

19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor

20 if you think this is the end. Do not try

21 to answer this. Your letters are full of

22 things that do not interest me. You have no

23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me

,24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that

25 after all that happened, i still cannot forget you.i hate you. but i love you.

(read between the lines syg)
Love pictures
I had a dream and it was about you ...

I smiled and recalled the memories we had ...

then I noticed a tear fell from my eyes ... you know why?

Coz in my dream you left me without saying goodbye ...

2008-09-07T02:17:00.000-07:00

just a little story.

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…
“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.“I can’t”“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.“No… I am going to meet a friend…”
He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…
Then one day…
Me: Um, Jin, I …Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..Me: I love you.Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.Me: Jin…
Jin: Here…take this…Again, he handed me a little doll.Me: What’s this?Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?Jin: Today? Huh?I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”Jin: You have something to say?Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…Jin: What?!Me: Tell meI put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday

just a warning. get some tissue lying around.
even i cried. but if you dun wanna be sad den dun read.

After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…Me: I don’t need it. Jin: What….why…I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…
Honk~ Honk~With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.“Jin, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…
“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls…“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls.I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…
“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls,shocked.
“I….lo..ve…you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.“I love you~”“I love you~”“I love you~”Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…
“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…
For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life.

Broken heart pictures

2008-09-06T01:09:00.000-07:00

hello !
i will post because of the special request by atiee! (:
haha
i wanted to post anyway!
i wouldn't leave my baby here all alone.
daddy's back! (from the mental hosp.)

ok so i was busy so i no tyme to update.
not that i wanna neglect it.
monday to wednesday had the sucky silver wing.
i better pass man! i study until like what. plus the place is far and we are fasting and need to reach there early.
it was crappy anyway. cause of some ppl. and yet again to ruin my lyfe. gerls.
but made new frens and saw the older frens.
too lazy too elaborate more.
then thursday suppose to do homework but like too tired . coz not enough sleep.
so no work was done!
i had 2 malay worksheets. like 3 maths paper. 2 geography work sheets and three mindmaps for english.
so on friday had life science in the morning. fun lar.
then go back to school to build the planes. but d&t workshop was close. some ppl nvr plan things properly. never bother to go and chek first or something or start work earlier. den in the end evrything dump on me.
wasted another day. dammit. could have finished my homework seyy. erghh.
den today i finish all my homework(except maths lar) atleast alot done already.
den go out den here i am.
wow dat was fast.
selamat berbuka !

2008-08-30T03:26:00.000-07:00

hello homosapiens!
well most of you are actually homosexual ryte?
haha. ok

teacher's day was fun. had aces day in the morning.
ccac's had lotsa fun. haha.
good job NICK!
you redeemed us.

then got results. i improve lot. but i can do so much better with more effort.
got the performances.
i only liked the velvet rose and the finale. good job peeps!
den lepak-ed a while and went back to south view with azfar and hanafi.
but we never see our teachers. we went in because we missed the canteen food.
haha. cute ryte? i noe...

den balik mandi ..
tgk televeision den go solat.
after dat rush home to change baju den went to meet hanafi, azfar & khairi..
i wanted to meet at 3 so got more tyme.
but khairi say meet at 2.30 sharp. he say dun want to miss the movie.
but hanafi azfar and me arrange to meet later abit at 2.45 and we nvr tell khairi.
so the three of us arrived at 2.45 but khairi was late.
i call him he saay on the way.
but he havent even reach yew tee.
in the end he reached about 3.05.
that BIG SMARTASS! made us wait for him.
never once when we arranged to meet he come on tyme!
and he was the one who wanted to meet early.
i hate waiting for people. bloody shit!
he think he president ah? kepala mangkuk dier lar sial!
kimak. buat kiter tunggu. babi.
pastu satu sorry pun takder.

den we go and take bus 190 and saw mr khoo. haha. he rock!
den we reach orchard and go to cathay.
hanafi and khairi watch starwars while azfar and me go shopping.
dat movie really not my type. i can cry of boredom.
den when dey finish the movie. after making us wait for very long. that smartass wanted to go walk around the mall. we already walked while waiting for them yet he dun care. show us the face. irritating. darlar pendek! muker mcm babi! bulu kening nak step manernyer gangsta tapi mcm bapok! nak step cute plak tu! kepala otak bnyk nyer besar kepe?sial nyer budak. lagi nak tunjuk muker. mcm aku nak ludah kan sak. azfar pun dah bingit.

den we wanted to go to taka to eat seoul garden. and this was their his idea. and he said he will belanjer to top-up if anyone not enough money. but i did not trust him so i brought money just in-case. and when hanafi and azfar not enough money he never even offered to belanjer them. fucker. hanafi dah menyumpah je sak. dier punyer idea pastu dier tak nak tolong hanafi ngan azfar. buat kiter gi all the way to taka and this! bastard.

he actually told us he brought $200 to pay for us. so hanafi pinnied his hopes. but i knew hecannot be trusted so i brought. urghhh. irritating. den he say go to far east to eat the nasi pattaya. cheaper. i hate that place. in terms of the food place ah. but he act smart and made us go the other ends of orchard. i knew he went to the wrong place and when i found the correct way he say" ah yes aku dah tau dah.mak aku dulu kerja kat borders jadi i know this place well"
dalam hati aku, aku dah maki dier sial. kimak. punyer lar naik akunyer darah. boleh ludah diernyer muke yang mcm pantat babi lar sak!
dah tu biler kat far east step manyer kaya nak step beli crumpler pastu ketawa kat aku.
eh pala **** kau lar. aku tak hairan. mak bapak kau bagi kau duit pasal aper. bukan kau baik. bukan kau pandai. pasal nak gantikan kasih sayang yang diorang tak boleh bagi! pastu nak aksyen! abeh biler kat seoul garden tk nk tlg diorang.

after mkn we went home. in the bus we were telling ghost stories. but that bugger was not with us. azfar told one that was spine tingling. and it was already late. i was scared.haha
but i scared oso i just walk one. because night walk i overcome the challenges den i become more braver in overcoming my fear. but as i was walking hanafi to his block got some chinese funeral and got bell sia. scary. den hanafi call his father to come down and fetch him. XD

den i just went home. crash and burn.

den in the morning wake up. met up wit sarah but she was late. atleast she tell me she will be late and she nvr say she wanted to meet early. so its ok.
den went HQ. got alot of the clts today coz got some meeting.
had an enriching chat with someone. he is really a nice person.
i am definitely going to miss him.
someone with his calibre and standard is rare.
with someone like him to have done so much and now going away,
its such a miss.
i hope and wish that he will comeback when he is free and impart his knowledge to us.
i truly will miss him.
if you happen to read this, good luck for your voyage and may you excel there as well.

den i went home early lar. was really sad. i wanted to hang there for a while more but got tahlil.
on the way back with the swiss cottage khairul i was tearing a little. because i will really miss him. he is the figure that i feared.but i am actually appreciating all he has done. he is a good man. good luck. and pls comeback often sir.

so i went back and changed and rushed to the tahlil and my grandad house.
bacer2 den eat. after eating, played with my anak sedara.
den played with adam for a while. he is like less than one year old. i was carrying him den i just tepok him and sang some lullabies and he fell asleep. his mother say even she has difficulties making him sleep. she say was very good. haha. he really cute seyy when he sleep. ui just dokong him at tepok and sing abit then he quiet and den sleep. normally he will cry if other ppl carry him. sometimes his mother carry him oso he cry. see i very pro. her mother say later december holidaes i go their house to jager. got the kakak five years old name is nadra. lol. but see ferst lor.
adam mother is my cousin lar. so paham paham jer lar. but she teacher.
den when we were in the room toking crap one of aunty terlanger the lauk container. den when my another aunty wanted to wipe it with tissue my mother say use towel. but my another one of the aunty gave roti kirai.she did not know the lauk tertumpah. she taught someone wanted roti kirai. so my aunty who was wiping the floor thought that the roti kirai was kain buruk den she go wipe the floor and realised it was roti kirai. haha.
i was rolling on the floor and crying. everybody was laughing and crying also. haha. funny like what sia.
so cute! haha
lol
dat all peeps.
good bye!

2008-08-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

yesterday story telling!
they did a pretty good job.
thought they would have gotten like ferst or second.
but those judges!
irritating!
so along the way i was being crazy but in the school tried to act "garang"haha.

so the drama was all ok lar.
got this guy who like jathish but to me look cuter and less irritating.haha. oopsx)

azfar was being gay. as usual.
i was trying to freak ppl out by saying stuffs.

and today nth special
juz another dreaded day
had ccac meeting.
go home late again.
like the whole week.
irritating siol.
cannot rest.
but i am the one asking for this.
wanted to cut my hair but apparently no tyme lar.
so tomorrow going out with the four mats.
will update bout dat sooner if not later.

ok. some people really fuckers these days.
no wonder world is gonna end
fuckers like this exist.
bastard.
not happy den give attitude.
as if their behaviour very good.
as if their face very nice.
such assholes.
do YOU think you own this motherfuckin' world?!
buzz off lar. kanina as if i owe you big tyme izit?
not happy say it to my face lar .
show me that fuckin attitude.
you know what it looks like?
pure SHIT!

2008-08-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

erm hello again.
in the morning PLANNED to meet hanafi at 7.15.
hah but was half an hour late. lol
sakit perut pe!

den ce lar no lit at all. cool sot
but the efffffingggg movie which is a total insult towards the good one.
the gerl in that show like one pampered and retarded gerl sia.
the gerls in my class are like too good to be compared to her sia.
see i compliment gerls. haha. lol
k den recess bla bla bla.

den the match.

i was screaming all the way man. loved it.
the last time i was this excited and anxious over something was during psle haha.
this match rocks. CONGRATULATION TO ALL OUR PLAYERS.

but those from other schools actually clapped when unity miss the free throw. kentot!
but all in all good job guys!

it makes me happy to see you happy.
to see you smiling.
glad that you are enjoying lyfe.
hope ur happiness won't end here.

my lyfe is currently suckish.
tomorrow going for story telling. but got ccac duty so i have to get replacements.
den i need to cut the grass on my head before silver wing.
need to study for alot of things and also homework.
and i am gonna have an appoinment with a........

haha. lol. but i hope u don't hate me.
really it hurts.
hope you have forgiven me.

2008-08-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fightingCould it be that we have been this way beforeI know you don't think that I am tryingI know you're wearing thin down to the coreBut hold your breatheBecause tonight will be the night that I will fall for youOver againDon't make me change my mindOr I wont live to see another dayI swear it's trueBecause a girl like you is impossible to findYour impossible to findThis is not what I intendedI always swore to you i'd never fall apartYou always thought that I was strongerI may of failedBut I have loved you from the startOhhhhBut hold your breatheBecause tonight will be the night that I will fall for youOver againDon't make me change my mindOr I wont live to see another dayI swear it's trueBecause a girl like you is impossible to findIt's impossibleSo breathe in so deepBreathe me inI'm yours to keepAnd hold onto your wordsCuz talk is cheapAnd remember me tonightWhen your asleepBecause tonight will be the night that I will fall for youOver againDon't make me change my mindOr I wont live to see another dayI swear it's trueBecause a girl like you is impossible to findTonight will be the night that I will fall for youOver againDon't make me change my mindOr I wont live to see another dayI swear it's trueBecause a girl like you is impossible to findYour impossible to find

don't mind the lyrics in that form.

suddenly this song hit me and its lyke they read my mind.

2008-08-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

erm. hey all.
i just realised how long i nvr update this blog.
i said i wanna change the skin ryte? but i have no clue whatsoever on how to do this crap.
someone help me?

erm ok let's see.
wednesday:
what happen ah?
i don't remember.

thursday:
did not come to school MC.
reason, you guys might know when you see my death certificate.
so i was at home trying to relax.
but keep on getting calls from mum and granddad. they were making sure i was alive.
then after answering a call i actually slept at the spot where i picked up the phone=.=

friday:
went back to school when i don't want to.
had lessons which were kinda interesting.
must make myself improve before its too late.
had training.
ok lar. had mass drill. fun.
funny i mean.
malas nak elaborate.

today:
morning went to school 7.40.
got ccac meeting but i left early to go to HQ for flying.
competitions coming.
wanna win this thing.
went to HQ with Tariq,Sarah,Alvin and Faris.
alot of unknown people also went there.
kinda suckish coz i really like the tyme when it was only us.
monkey-ing around.
well might as well enjoy lyfe instead of hating it.
though it sucks a whole lot!

i was watching oprah a few days back.
the only way you gonna make your lyfe a happy one is if you try.
surround urself with the happy moments,laughters and the best jokes or funny moments you can remember.
mix with people who make you smile.
though sometime you may feel hurt by their words, they are all you got.
so i really am trying to be a happy person for atleast until after the exams.

fasting month is coming. so are the exams.

bye!

2008-08-19T06:05:00.000-07:00

hey people who inhabit this dying planet!

erm ..didn't know ppl read my blog. neither do i know that there are ppl who care. but may i know who you guys are? pls.

k so today went to mac before going to school to buy breakfast. haha long tyme seyy nvr sneak.

em den mr khoo gave back lit paper. good thing i never fail. could have done alot better just that my phrasing of words and sentences was crap. i know. even when i know the answer i will ryte rubbish.

when the answer suppose to be rats ryte? dunnoe how i go and put FROGS? those amphibians got into my head. uhhh.

den CE relx tyme.

recess den dunnoe what else lar.
after school also i dunnoe what to do so i just hang around with. dotz.

k i saw this chinese drama. dunno whether you ppl watch.

but i find it the sweetest thing.

the female tour guide bringing a group of couples who are suppose to be lovey dovey and stuffs.
but in the end she was crossed in her own love lyfe.
den this guys was also crossed in his love lyfe because the gerl was unfaithful.
then while on the way home somehow they were kidnapped. den some things happen.
den the guy wanted to sacrifice himself for the gerl.
but then both of them were tied up and were about to be killed.
but at that point on the guy proposed to the tour guide and she agreed.
then the police come and dey nvr die.
but they were seperated and when with their families. i gotta check out what happens tomorrow.
dats all.

2008-08-16T23:14:00.000-07:00

was supposed to go out mit me sedara
but cancel. shyt ah.
boring sey at home.
my sister is controlling the damn television.

dun care about my previous post.
it was not meant to get sympathy from anyone.
i just felt so lousy and wanted to relief my feelings.
this is the only way i can let out my feelings.
though the pain that i really feel can never be reflected in a mere post.
i dun have anyone i can really trust to share my problems.
de only ppl i culd trust was my primary school friends.
but they themselves have gone separate ways.
even though they are in the same school,
they are not together.
how sad. what if i were with them.
imagine that.
atleast if i were to face any problems in their school i wud have them.
and they wud not have gone different ways.
but now i feel i am suffering alone. i miss laughing my ass of at their sick and dirty jokes.
atleast they bring joy to my life.
they trust me.
i trust them.
look what has happened to me.
what has happen to them.
why the hell i join this cheapskate school.
i so regret it.
when i cry, they dun think that i am like a wimp or anything.
they console me. they are so the best human beings in my lyfe.
and hey why must you cry? this thing should not be hurting you at all.
you are having it your way.
you decided on how things shuld be.
i am not blaming you.
its just me.
i feel lousy.
i know you have a better lyfe.
so enjoy it.
i remembered how they actually shared their problems and horny jokes with me.
how ms tan is always biased and treated us so much better than the rest.
how the whole class motivated one another.
how they supported me and congragulated me when i was ferst in class.
hard to believe? i actually won over some people from the better classes. not the best classes but the better ones.
well thats lyfe for me.
good things always never last long.

2008-08-16T05:07:00.000-07:00

so in the morning met up with sarah.

then her dad send us to HQ. thanks uncle!

we reached HQ and we were still early.
only the SJI people were there.
huhs. so we kinda slacked till about 10 plus.
den we go to the aeromodelling centre. khairul was weaker then hafnie. haha. klakar sot.
so we entered and got the things out.

we started flying.
actually just khairul.
when i wanted to fly the plane would not take off.
its either i am a bad pilot or the plane screwed up.
and there was only one good plane left. so that was it.
we were confined to the centre to repair those planes.
there were only fara, alan, khairul, hafnie,angel, sarah and me.
the rest were busy i guess.
and got some clts too.
after that we were on the grasspatch just waiting. there was only one plane and it had problems too. we could not do anything much about it. so sarah and me were singing dunno how many songs lar. it felt great. to b complimented by people . but thanks to sarah lar for boosting my morale. i dare say we sounded great.
so we were busy trying to fix the screwed up planes and our dear sarah and fara took a nap! -_-

den when they wake up straight away eat twisties. morover dey never invite the guys. we had to invite ourselves haha. sarah and me were singing our hearts out. heh. duet. some clt terdengar oso. paiseh sot!
so when we were almost going back we were told to do a set for ourselves. haish. so we did what we could. and we went off after that.
fara, sarah and me took train to lot one and then fara went home while sarah and me go eat at LJS. den went to look for sarah's sister berthday present.
den i went home. only to find out my mum went to the kubor without me. pissed off lar. i wanna see my granny. erghhh. den later went to expo. crappy but funny things.

then take taxi home the cost was like $34.45. fuck seh!
so watched tv a while and dhen here i am blogging about my day and you are reading it.

i cannot believe you could actually make me cry.
i dun blame you but,
i swear the pain i am feeling,
cannot be compared to what i have ever encountered in my lyfe.
i was listening to some songs which talked to me.
but i just dun understand why you would go to the extremes.
why are you doiing this to me.
i dun ask for your love.
i have never forced you have i?
neither am i very desperate for you.
i am just really upset and disspointed.
that i lost a friend.
someone i thought i could trust.

now i am not sure.
whether our friendship ever meant anything to you.
was your warmth all just and act.
i WAS happy at that time.
when you shared ur problems with me.
i was.
but now its as if nothing ever happened.
its like i am a complete stranger to you.
imagine how painful that would be.
i lost something i held close to my heart.
when my grandma passed away,
i had no mood to do anything.
i did not even want to come to school.
i wanted to quit everything.
but because i know i have friends hu do care.
frens like you.
i cried every night thinking about my grandma.
thinking about her cute smile and her sweet voice.
i wanted to give up on lyfe.
i wanted to join her.
she was the role model in my lyfe.
she suffered so much but never complained.
she even raised me until she became.
its just so hard to hold back my tears. i dun wanna let any of my family members to know i am this upset.
but i guess my grandmother now is looking down upon me. i am so ashamed to let her know that i cannot handle all this. but i really wanna meet her now. i want to join her.i need her to advice me.
pls give me the strength i need.
pray for me nani.
i am such a disgrace to you.
sorry for letting you down.
i hope to see you again nani.
i love you.

i am no ddespo. but the way you treat me hurts me.
you wun even talk to me.

2008-08-15T06:48:00.000-07:00

today whole day was so sucky. hated everything.
except when mr elfie came to teach us bio.
gosh he is damn funny.
look like my abang sedara by alot.
talk like him.
walk like him.
look at people also like him.
haha.
but some ass say he reminds them of me.
maybe true ah but i am not dat dramatic as him..
though i admit i am drama abit.
haiz.
hu knew being confidant would make me hurt my ownself.
well i guess you guys don't know that i feel very lousy.
i dun get what i want in lyfe and its like all the tyme.
so when i do achieve something i get really happy.
and i am sorry if that comes across as arrogance to some of you.
my lyfe sucks so when i do get something that actually is going my way,
i get excited,maybe too excited bout it.
when i get a chance i grab it. that is my only way to shine.
that was my mindset larh.
so sorry.
i feel so dumb.
maybe i shuld stop trying too hard larh.
i shuld not be to enthu.
well maybe i might not even want to try again larh.
what if i come across as arrogant?
i dun want you ppl to hate me.
i will try not to be so semangat anymore.
the more i try to get atleast some good things in my lyfe,
it always doesn't.

this is no longer a verge of breaking down.

not only have i been broken down but trampled upon and torn apart.

and for you. i will try my best to ask someone to change the blogskin .
if i can't then at most i will delete this blog. and do another one when i am free.
dun worry. i will do it asap.

oh and i have to go back to hq tomorrow for flying.
cca before ccac.
and i really dun know why am i trying.
seriously
give up already.
dun kill my own self.
it will be suicide.

2008-08-14T05:52:00.000-07:00

sorry if i hurt you that much.
i swear i didn't mean to.
if only i knew what i did.
but its too late for regrets.
i know.
since what you are doing is what you think is the best.
thus let it be.
i don't wanna aggravate the situation.
since this is it.
i have nth left to say.

i hope you will enjoy your life without me to ruin it.
i would tell you this personally.
but u r avoiding me.
so this is the only way.
how pathetic.
i am sorry for ever being part of your lyfe.
but i have no control over tyme.
i would ask hanafi
to transport me back in tyme
change the moment where we ferst met.
change the way this sad story goes.
but hanafi is just imagining things.
and so am i.

goodbye. and sorry it ain't in malay.
i do not honour my promises.

2008-08-13T04:18:00.000-07:00

hmmm. i suddenly want to post this in proper English.

haha. Let's get started!

I woke up at the normal time but my stomach cause me too much problem and decided to take a longer time today knowing i have tests coming up for the day. So i went out at 7. That is unacceptable according to my self expectation. I make it a point to leave at about 6.50. Laugh all you want. Tardiness is not in my vocabulary.

So then it was morning assembly. Falah gave a speech. Kudos to you. Not very long till its actually my turn. Stressing out here! hahs. then right after that it was Biology. The teacher never come. The class was rejoicing as they wanted to use the oppotunity to study for maths. I did not see the point of last minute things like that. If they had actually cared and bothered to put in effort in studying atleast the night before they would have understood and there would be no need to study like mad creature. But i got to admit the upcoming test tomorrow,Geography chapter 8 and 9 is really too much to study. No wonder bart was complaining.

Well, after that was P.E. We played basketball. Fun overall. sorry azfar for hurting your middle finger.(if your mind is corrupted then i know what you are thinking) i actually throw the ball to hard that i actually hurt his finger because he is that lousy at sports.

Then it was recess and when recess ended it was maths and i realised i forgot to buy my flexible curve. haha. then i rushed down to get one. it was 4 BUCKS! what a rip-off.So had my test. i understood the questions. An improvement compared to when i was in that class. But i think there might be some calculation errors. So after that was history and watch some videos. Both educational and funny ones. Then we had a pop quiz. i think i smoked that.Then it was mother tongue. good thing cikgu postponed the test. Actually i study already. Quite confident of acing it but pitied my other friends so begged for them.

Then after school went to canteen and back to class. there was no remedial so Hanafi ,Khairi and I were crapping in class. Then i went to library because Hanafi wanted to use the computer. So i decided to do my Geography homework with atiqah. then at about 5 we zoomed back home in the oh-so-slow-as-well-as-unstable-bus.

That was all. this was one of the boring days.

ps: you were avoiding me today . and you are probably going to avoid me forever.Not talking to me.
fine. hate me that much huh? what? this is it? you going to ruin our friendship because of this. I did whatever i could have done on my part. but you choose to remain hard headed and unforgiving.
As if the whole damn thing was my fault. IF for some reason you thing that the whole thing was my fault and you hate me or us that much the tell us . and by avoiding me won't solve the problem. because if you hate me or us that much then just say it. to think i actually ................................. i am just speechless.

bye bye. enjoy the song!

2008-08-12T06:15:00.000-07:00

how stupid u think i am...i know it wasn't just me. but cant i just apologize on my behalf? is that wrong? is that a sin? ughhh.!
gosh! what is wrong with u. why u gotta be so hard.and of course i was not blaming it all on you..its the other gerls oso. when azfar called one of u den one of u guys said going to go down so we waited thinking it was gonna be awhile. but it was long so we went up to look for you guys.

why does this thing have to happen? both party did wrong stuff but why you gotta be so hot headed and unforgiving.

2008-08-12T04:10:00.000-07:00

i gonna do another post...
hey i so did not insult you people and call you all sundal ryte?i think azfar did.

well i hate gerls but i still think of you guys as friends. even my primary school bestfrens were gerls. raihana and dina. ugghhh and a gay adli...lol not true...he is straight.

and we wait for you gerls coz we actually care. and we invite you guys to have fun together. when azfar go say all that coz he was playing around. i don't really mind waiting for you ppl. but the fact that after we wait for you guys den you guys dun wanna wait when i was looking for clothes. that was when i was pissed.
if we DID NOT CARE ABOUT YOU PEOPLE . WE WOULD HAVE JUST LEFT. ITS BECAUSE WE CARE AS YOU ARE OUR FRENS THUS WE WAIT. den you guyslike that seyy.pastu kiter nak masok kedai baju korang dah jalan sampai kat maner tah.

abeh kater kalau tk suker jgn invite? KITER INVYTE PSL KORANG KAWAN KITER LAR .
we even wait for you ppl and u guys cannot wait for us for a while. dat was why we angry.
when we wanted to watch movie you guys say dun want. so we dun mind lar. den you guys wanted to go marina square. even when i don't know where that is i still go. even let that ass got us lost. is waiting for us so difficult? all of us yang gi sembahyang dunnoe the way. den korang yang tahu tk nk tunggu sekejap. we said to wait ryte.
IF WE DID NOT CARE WE WUD NOT HAVE WALKED SO FAR WITH A BLIND ASS GUIDING US AND SESAT INSHOPPING CENTRE TO LOOK FOR YOU GERLS.

its because we treat you people as frens. YES I GENERALLY HATE GERLS but i forgave you and wanted to have fun. well i did at some points. but just looking at ur sour faces brings me down abit.

if i got do anything wrong to you den sorry. but you guys jalan sampai maner sey kiter cari-cari tk dapat.
and the bad thing that happen to you. sorry i culd not have prevented that.
but since i feel its my fault coz if not you would not have even bought that thing i am gonna bring you out someday to anywhere you want to buy you a new one. but my budget $50 only. i promise. but that is if you want. and how long you take to find that shoe oso i won't mind.

i really thought i culd spend tyme with you but niwaez...i am sincerely sorry if i hurt your feelings.i even walked in a place which was like alien to me. coz i told you i had someone in mind and it was you. I AM NOT GAY! its just that alot of gerls have been ruining my lyfe. and my previous post for today is not bout you. k.

i am sorry i didn't mean to hurt you. put it at my blog now to declare. i will go out wit you sumday to buy it. but if you really hate me so much and think that i am gay and dun wanna talk to me than there is nothing i can do.

2008-08-12T02:09:00.000-07:00

olla!

so let me write bout yesterday kae?

yesterday woke up early not coz i was force to but because i just did. den i com all the way to about 10.30 den i bath XD. my sister was havin her tuition and i had to wait until the tutor go home which was supposed to be at 11.30 but he drag so i just go lar. den i reach cck mrt. so since i was abit early i decided to roam lot 1 by myself ferst. so jalan2 den look at tyme already 12.01.haha one minute late. so i go in to cck mrt again. got call from khairi. he was still at home. got call from aliff he was still at home also. wth ryte? the gerls were punctual. see? vain boys...gerls also can make it ontyme. shame2. erghh...so we waited until about 12.30. F ryte?

so after that we take MRT to bugis. the gerls got down at bugis while the guys go beach road. me and khairi wanted to go buy beret. den we bought the beret. khairi and i were like finally the real things...normally we buy and always we get cheated...haha either the npcc kind or somthing like that la. but this is the real thing..cool man. after that we had our lunch there...and met up with the gerl at bugis...they make us wait for dunnoe how long sia. so we went up and look for them at the neoprint place. den we walk around the place and i wanted to see some clothes but the gerls told me to hurry up. dey made us wait for dunnoe how long coz they take picture can ah?! %*@$%!#$
after that we go to bugis street. i find that place very creepy. the dudes were bugging me cause that was my ferst tyme dere....asses!
then we wanted to go to marina square. so we take MRT to raffles city. which i think was the wrong place lar. den aliff nak solat. so all the guys plus nora went to the freaking cool underground masjid. masjid moulana. (nth to do wit sarah)haha.airconditioned somemore leh syiok ryte.
when we solat azfar become imam. he irritating sak. tengah sembayang boleh using belakang dgn muker step cute. ya allah. aku sampai terketawa sak...
den we sit there for a short while and we saw cikgu irwino( is dat ryte?)
cool sey..
den we wanted to go to marina square from there. the act smart ass pretended he knew the damn ass way and made us lost. fcuk ryte? uh!
den we walked all the way from there to esplanade sak. after dat we saw marina square. he made us turn dunnoe how far. stupid shyt!
my ferst tyme dat close to esplanade and ferst tyme to marina square.. huh got lost in there looking for the other gerls. they were playing hide and seek or something. uh lame. wasted my life. den we go dinner den go home....
overall it was fun ah. got alot of jokes.
but someone restricted me to tell them. hahaha. ok i won't...see i very nice.!

den today was very boring ah.
den on the way home somebody gave me that buay song look.
i was like so irritated lar. as if i do wrong things to her. she joke about me and talk behind my back can ah?! irritating. insult people until like what. i feel like going to your face and say that you are not perfect dammit! look at urself lar. dammit. as if you bloody good like that. i cannot believe i thought u were nice. well i guess that people change! i never even say anything bad about u at ferst sak. then u go insulting and gossping. no wonder ur frens say that you really kpo one. i nvr believe them at ferst but now i sure do. let me tell you something lar...u are not so good urself. and if u wanna say anything come say to my face ah. as if your mother pay me to make u happy. i seriously fcuking piss of with ppl like u lar. u insult me and made fun of me like dunnoe what. den now u act like i owe you. if u dare say anything bad about me let be ryte to my face IF U GOT THE BLOODY GUTS AH! u dun dare den better dun say anything. wah act big as if i owe u money or what..giving me the buay song look. sial ar...irritating sey. i nvr do anything wrong to u ryte? den u gossip until dunnoe like what. u torture me ryte? u better make sure i die. if not i won't be responsible for my actions later on. and yes this is a threat for you if i find out you gossip bout me.

2008-08-10T00:08:00.000-07:00

hellos people!

i am in sucha good mood! (atleast 4 now)
i love u all!

wanna know why? i know u don't but its my blog so i will just sae anywae...haha

i just came back from a damn fun shopping spree!damn fun

things i bought:
1 pierre cardin polo tee
1beverly hills polo club round neck tee.
1 beverly hills polo club bermudas
1 hang ten bemudas
1 pair of kappa socks
1 pair of kappa shoes.

just imagine lar all this things...rocks man...and got good discount. got 20% discount leh...fun siol

actually suppose to use my money to buy but in the end i just forked out 50 bucks and my mother paid for the rest...wow.

so today never go kubur coz yesterday go already..

ok so tomorrow probably going to bugis with azfar,hadi,khairi and aliff...anione nk join ? if want then let azfar or me noe ok...we also will be going to beach road and maybe esplanade.

ok so toodlez!

2008-08-08T04:03:00.000-07:00

about yesterday. i woke up kinda late.

but as usual i come to school on tyme unlike some people...haha.

i seriously cannot remember anything dat happened in class.

coz i was very very very extremely damn irritatingly sleepy. my mood was like irritating.
oh wait. i remember something...i was pissed of with a bunch of trio bitches and sluts. who apparently do not bath when they come to school. and they HAVE THE BLOODY CHEEKS to blame me. fcuk! dey didn't even know what was going on, and they walked like some big fcuks and blamed me.i was like dammit. gerls again! fcukers! so i let out a few words which were harsh but i knew i could have done better. but i had said i was feeling sleepy so i was not up to my best.

hah!

den i went for the training. its like the whole week i was super duper busy. i come back home from school everyday and its already like 8.30 liddat. and i have to get the school uniform ready,my ncc uniform ready,my homework done,my school bag packed and lastly to bath. so just think how shitly tired i was. but it paid off. unlike some people who didn't do their homework and got a so called after school session with the teacher.haha. he was forced to go coz he is the type dat always nvr finishes his work. those in class will know. later he will give some stupid freaking lame excuse like i lost the wksht. haha. and when he is late for school he will give some seriously stupid lame story dat made bart,hanafi and me laugh our ass off. so he said his bicycle chain broke(not the first time he said it) den his keys fell into the drain and the his pants was dirty so he had to go back and change. and then he wanted to act smart.

when hanafi and i were discussing about the geography test ryte, we said that the test was kinda tough. but that loser said it was easy.. ended up we passed and he failed....u shuld have seen his face. the I KNOW EVERYTHING face when he got no clue. and when bart made a speech and said that abraham lincoln was the 16th president of the U.S. and hanafi said it was not...he acted like one big fcuk know it all and said it was. when in fact it was not. so when bart told him that he made a mistake and it was the wrong thing den he say ...i dunnoe ...i was just saying.... hanafi , azfar and me clearly saw that he was acting like a smart person and said that he was ryte and now he saying otherwise...immediately after he went away hanafi started cursing...azfar and i were like so freaking disgusted..what an ass! huh. and some blind ppl actually called him modest.
would a modest person act like a freak like what he does.
so some jokes we compiled(about him) :
the word:tablet his pronounciation:teh-belet.
the word:speculate his pronounciation:spare-chulate..
the word: history his pronounciation: his-toe-ry
there are more but i'll save it for another day. i but this is already stupid enough to make you laugh your guts out.
want to know why i hate him,despise him,get irritated by his fuctup face?
firstly,last year he spat in my water bottle.
secondly, he made my bestfren turn against me when it was his efffffinnnnggg! fault.but now the bestfren knows that he is an ass.
thirdly,he talks behind my back.
fourth,he pretends he is some smart person and acts pitiful and modest . SERIOUSLY ACT!
fifth,he thinks he can get whatever he wants.
sixth,he did something wrong to my fren.
seventh,we told him off and he promised not to do it again but he did.
eighth,he has done all this and he thinks he is perfect.
ninth,when i just got back at him a little bit for what he has put me through, he go act emo and make it look like its my fault.hey ass its just a little bit. if i give all that he did...i think he turn into moron.
tenth. he doesn't study for tests and always lie to hanafi and me and say that he does and while we are recaping in class he will interupt and act smart.
eleventh:when there were group projects throughout last year and begining of this year before helm,he never contribute and when it was time to pass up he would always pretend like he did the work. so when we told him off, again he made a promise which he clearly did not live up to.he said he would do all the upcoming projects. which he did not. fazillah did most of it. and when we had meetings he wud not show up.only when we go sungei buloh coz to him its an outing kinda thing.
twelve: hanafi and i ask him do atleast some, den he say he got alot of things. fcuk! he thinks that he is the only one.
thirtheen. so we were so pissed of and hanafi ask him to stayback to do it coz he has been saying that that he was busy the previous days and he wud do it today but he go call his mother,ryte infront of me and tell her he needed to stayback because i forced him to.he blatently lied infront of us. dammit!he used my name in vain.fcuk ass! so ended up i had to do it.
fourteen: hanafi did the d&t product model until donno how much and he lost it together with his sketchbook. and they had to re-do everything from scratch with materials other groups did not want anymore.imagine how flared up i was when hanafi told me that.
fifteen: told by hanafi that he wears the same uniform for a week and kills us with his odour.
sixteen: he thinks that he looks cute.
seventeen :he was supposed to bring my art things which he kept but he did not.
eighteen: he dared to say i was DISORGANIZED. azfar, hanafi and i wanted to f him upside down sial! so what if he can keep his bag neat.? does he even do his work. or study or do the projects. kimak dier sak! i do my work and pack my bag everyday. and i study for upcoming tests. and i bother to do the work if i forget. when he forgets , he just buat bodoh!
nineteen: he self-proclaims that people like him.
twenty: while he was liking this gerl,he went flirting around with another.

there are more but i am too tired to list them out.

and for you. i really-really love you. i reeeeeeeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy do. i have been too busy and tired.but seriously u piss me off. the way u treat me is like i am some kind of pest. for no apparent reason you said"go die la" . that just sliced ryte through me.i wud rather you torture me physically den mentally or verbally. go take a knife and kill me if you want me to die. if i culd die in your hands dat wud be great. how do i confess my love for you when you are always so temperamental. first ur nice and the next moment ur snapping at me. i do have feelings. i really care for you. how i wish you wud understand my predicament.i really want to lend you my shoulders and let you lean on them. i really wish dat i culd be the first one u wud come to if u had a problem. how i wish u wud trust me to be ur listening ear, the one to wipe away ur tears and put a smile on ur face and fill each of ur day our sweet & precious moments. i wanna carry you around in my arms and run around like a mad man and repeat this words: i love you and i will always be there for you.................................
but now it seems like you hate me. you just glare at me and won'teven say hi.
i would pass by you and ur friends and you wuld act like we are complete strangers.
i wait for you to say hi to me on the msn but its just so quiet.
is this it?
is this how it ends.
i really have faith it won't.
i will be waiting.
for
u
to cool
down.

gd bye ...

2008-08-05T06:12:00.000-07:00

i am now in a effing bad mood. if u cannot stand harsh languages or if you think u might have offended me den its best you dun read.ok? so if u somehow feel offended by this post is probably coz u did something wrong to me den u guilty so NOT MY PROBLEM! u dun have to read..understand ah?

k so today i was already bad mood in the morning. body aching coz of some reason. and the ass people in lrt as usual were inconsiderate. so i went to school lar. den got to class no one in class yet. i was actually supposedly late.well thats what i thought but i was the first one to reach.

den the rest of the day was ruined by the same ass bitches.

seriously ,who do you gerls think you are? the bloody whole day of mine were ruined by gerls.including my lil sis hu's another bitch. one of the gerl scream at my friend and a teacher was there. f u lar! u are not so good yourself ok? who are you to scream at my friend like dat? as if in other classes you behave? slut! even your friends are talking in class and disrupting the class lar dammit! then another thing. another gerl made a comment about me. dat really brought down my mood to a whole new level of low. hu the hell do you think you are? snapping at me. DO YOU PAY ME TO MAKE YOU HAPPY? NO RITE? so keep your comments to yourselves..please. i was in a fucking bad mood sak. if i had the choice,i wud go there and shout ryte in ur ass face man. but i know if i shout u will bloody hell start crying lar..damn you. i didn't even disturb you sey! seriously lar go to hell lar. u think i keep quiet dat means i scared of you ok? its because if i lost control of myself,u YOU WUD HAVE CRIED. another case. some people were joking around. but seriously lar your jokes were too far. u guys cannot think or what. i was just smiling it away. and the person hu did it the most was yet again another gerl.

see...you understand y i really hate gerls. good thing i never start about my sis. if not it wud be a nvr ending list.

i am really pissed off.
i dun even know why i even try.
seriously i hate it.
demoralising me.
when i am already down and out.
you guys still keep on kicking.
why?
i feel really stupid ,sacrificing so much.
y do i even try?

2008-08-04T04:13:00.000-07:00

hey ya'll

miss me?
i noe u do...ryte?no hu i am talkin bout?
no? nvm...

haha.

and so my day was not bad. lessons were really dry but i was all ryte..
after school did alot of exercising things...

firstly i played frisbee. was exciting in a way coz we were playing a game. the competetiveness in me was unleashed. haha.after dat i wanted to watch the NDP rehearsals. but no one was there to watch it with me. haiz. den i went to i-care room to look if anyone was inside. but i found khairi at the vending machine. so i went to the gym with him. nick was there too.(aisyah,its not nick jonas haha) then i thought, since i was in the gym might as well i do some things. so firstly i did some weight lifting. then i went on to do knee raise thing. then i did the leg raise thing. and then i did some pull-ups. which i enjoyed very much. then after that i played soccer with khairi,nick and some other people lar. too many to list.

i really missed playing soccer. i bet u ppl didn't know this. i was a soccer playing kinda guy in primary school. i played soccer like almost evryday. and anytime i could. recess, after school and before fetching my sister from school(that was kinda how i lost weight that year...ahem) and yah. so believe it or not! i dun care.

so while i was playing and having lotsa fun, sarah came to the court and asked me to watch the NDP rehearsals with her. but i told her to wait..really was in the game..so fun. i have NO IDEA why i stopped playing when i entered secondary school? but its fun to start again. but i cannot play everyday or as often as how i use to. too busy these days. dun even have tyme for myself. i really lack sleep.

hey you. y u gotta be so cute and adorable and mesmerising and beautiful and...wait too far.haha. why you gotta do this to me?why do you get my hopes up ,only to let it fall on the cold hard floor.did i do something wrong to you dat i don't know?is that it? are you getting back at me? but what wrong did i do to you? why you gotta be so nice to me and then suddenly snap at me? isit moodswing or sumting. urgh. y.i really hate you for doing all this to me. i really do. whether its intentional or unintentional,only you know. but i really dun understand myself. i know i can't blame u fully. coz u nvr ask me to fall for you , but i did. see..i am going crazy. i hate you.i am trying to get you out of my mind. seriously. i dun want this to affect our friendship. i dun wanna lose you.but i cannot change how i feel. i really do love you.

i gotta get my uniform ready for tomorrow.
astalavista my babes!

2008-08-03T00:31:00.000-07:00

hey babes!

see..i am updating it already ...cool ryte? i noe..(:

so sport fiesta:
i woke up at 5a.m. in e mornin! dammit...but i was still kinda late to meet up wit my frenz..hahs!
so i juz met em CCK mrt.
den went to school...saw some orienteering ppl...congrats guys...good job!
den we took attendance...en my mood was still down coz of something..
en weee boarded the bus to go to CCAB...guess what? i was wondering where that place was ,when i have been to that place many time during my primary school days..haha..
i use to have my tennis tournaments there..ironic ain't it?
so we set up the soccer pitch and then some music was playing so john and i was lip syncing and pretended we were having a concert...it felt great..haha! juz then ppl started coming already....

so some opening ceremony yadayada when on and it all started....i was not in the umpiring comittee so i was kinda free...so i walked around with hanafi when mr chan told us to help him carry cartons of water to the tentage...was quite far and the things were really heavy even though we had that trolley thing...even hanafi couldn't push it..so moi did it...but ended up twisting my thumb...

hahs! i got the red cross to rub some ointment on it...i had fun playing the trolley thing wit hanafi....he was aspiring to be a first aider...and i was the casualty...i know cute ryte?
haha..(prasan)

den i walk around some more....talk to ppl...so i played for my class for a while since i had to play.... bet you all did not know this....i played soccer in primary school with my frens almost every day..even when i was feftching my sister....i stopped when i entered secondary school..no idea why? so chen lu was amazed when i actually did something cool..haha..i really miss playing with those primary school assholes that i call frens...

well after that i chatted with some people...it was very hot though.. drank like 5 bottles of water and surprisingly did not even step into the toilet....i think i know why...i sweated it all out...and jaycee gave me a bottle of h2o for free...credits to you!

i planned an outing and thought you were gonna go but you did not...i talked to you and u brought my hopes up.you made me feel that you cared about me.guess i was wrong.you like the attention that you get from all those guys that likes you.that makes you a bitch.knwing all this i try my very best to forget you.but i cannot. i know that all you do is hurting me. i know.i really do.and i hate you for that.i seeriously hate you.i don't know why but alongside that feeling,i still love you.i just dun get it.why is it that i hate you so much but i still love you.you tell me..you remember those sweet moments we had? and there was once during the fiesta when you swiped something away from my face..?i felt great. you are giving me hope dammit. if u dun like me den stop giving me false hope..i love you and i dun understand why?i try to forget you..i do..but i just can't. when u smile it just melts me.i hate you for that coz i know u are a flirt. even ur best fren said she pitied anyone who liked you coz u r the type of person who flirts around and toy with feelings..i hate...but i love you.
bye peeps!

2008-08-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

that was actually aisyah and her horny-ness(:
credits to her for helping me create this things u r viewing.
i will try to update frequently.
but no guarentee.
coz i am a busy man.
ok .
TILL NEXT TYME

2008-08-02T05:54:00.000-07:00

testing testing 123, testes!